23 Jan 98: Monica Lewinsky's testimony at the Paula Jones hearing was delayed by the judge in the case at the request of Ms. Lewinsky's lawyer. Kenneth Starr, the independent prosecutor has subpoenaed Vernon Jordan, a close confidant of the President to appear before a federal grand jury investigating the possibility that President Clinton asked Ms. Lewinsky to lie to Paula Jones' lawyers when asked about whether she had had and affair with the President. These plot twists and more are to be added to "As the World Turns" and "General Hospital" in future episodes.
El Papa, John Paul II, came out in favor of school vouchers today when he said, when it comes to schools, "parents should be able to choose." The National Teachers Association is reportedly reconsidering their stance on the infallibility of the Roman Pontif.
Theodore Kaczynski has completely thrown over the idea of acting as his own defense and has pleaded guilty to murder and terrorism. For pleading guilty, he will be given life behind bars rather than facing the possibility of a death sentence. Environmentalists are much relieved by Kaczynski's move, one source stating, "If he had testified all our radical, socially corrosive, socialist, anti-human views would have been made public and people would have seen how nuts we really are."
22 Jan 98: A Lawyer for Cattlemen who are suing Oprah Winfrey for spuriously connecting beef to the chance of getting mad cow disease said that Oprah's show created a lynch mob mentality and lost the cattlemen millions of dollars in revenue. Oprah's lawyers responded by saying that "She is not anti-beef, not anti-cattle, not anti-rancher." They forgot to mention, however, that she does like to blow issues "way the heck out of proportion."
Theodore Kaczynski, the alleged (but most likely is) Unabomber, will likely be allowed to represent himself. Lawyers from both defense and prosecution agreed that he should be allowed to do so. Kaczynski wanted to take over his own defense because he did not want lawyers to use the insanity plea. His lawyers must want him to take up the reins of the case because his court room presentations can only prove their case.
News Briefs: 21 Jan 98: In a diplomatic move that could only be labeled naïve, President Clinton, yesterday, urged Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu to significantly and credibly pull back troops from the West Bank. Clinton acted as though he is unaware that an Israeli pull back from the West Bank would leave the embattled nation only 9 miles wide at one point and that point nearly indefensible.
Cloning experts say that they soon may clone cows that have the ability to produce milk containing medicines. Scientists are excited at the prospects saying they may someday reach the ultimate goal of bovine-cloning research: "chocolate milk".
Democrats and Republicans are wrangling over various forms of tax cuts to be adopted by Congress. White House spokesman Mike McCurry indicated he does not believe tax revenues are the people's money. He stated, "We are very leery of tax cut proposals…" He might have added with an Elvis-like lilt to his voice, "The President's goal is to be a tax and spender, not a return to sender."
20 Jan 98: Rumors abound that Paula Jones and President Clinton might settle Jones' sexual harassment suit out of court. Unidentified officials state that this whole Paula Jones affair would not have been a problem if she had just cooperated in the first place.
A recent poll by IRC of Media, PA shows that most Americans believe that abortion should not be legal in all circumstances (56%). Majorities supporting abortion occurred only in cases where special circumstances apply (rape, health of mother, etc.)
Al Gore spoke from Martin Luther King's Georgia pulpit yesterday hinting that he wants to balloon the federal deficit and promote racial conflict by increasing civil rights spending by $86 million dollars. "This is a priority. That is why it received such an enormous increase when almost everything else in the budget is being decreased." He failed to mention that there are actually very few decreases occurring in the federal budget and he failed to demonstrate how spending more money rather than increasing efficiency of the departments responsible for civil rights enforcement would be effective.
19 Jan 98: Over the weekend President Clinton was questioned regarding his alleged sexual harassment of Paula Jones. The gist of his testimony was that he remembered no such encounter with Jones. However, he may have fantasized some such thing with Sharon Stone.
Saying that the United States is trying to prolong UN sanctions against his country, Saddam Hussein fears an attack by the US. He has ordered over a million "volunteers" to undergo military training. Only problem is, they aren't allowed to use real weapons - They might find a better use for them than against the "Great Satan".
